Friday, July 5, 2013

Lost and Found

Hello Lovelies!!! How have you been? I know, I know, it's been a while...okay, okay it's been months since I wrote a post!! *SIGH* Well lovelies, I must admit that I have been through the ringer and back. Throughout it all, you have been on my mind. Let me admit to you that there have been some troubling. challenging, what word can I use...ah, unfortunately fortunate events happening and it took until now for me to muster up the courage to tell you. So... here it is...

My beautiful readers, my absence from the blogosphere has not been because I do not love you, but merely because life has been,...well life. And oh how important the value of life is. Scenario breakdown: Mid February of this year I was told that I was being laid off from my job. The office location I was working at decided that it was time to lift their roots and embark on a more upscale hemisphere, therefore leaving me to fend for another bill paying legion of doom (isn't that what work really is? hahaha!!). Thankfully, through the outsource company I work for I was able to transfer over to another company they service. Great news for me because this meant that I would end my old job one week and start my new job the following week with no interruption in pay. SWEET!! While that was a rather exciting conclusion and beginning in my employment, I had a rather surprising beginning in my personal field.

Shortly after receiving the news of my new job position, I found out that I was pregnant with my second child. It was amazing seeing a positive sign on the tinkle stick *tee-hee* Sorry for that rather graphic illustration, but I just couldn't resist myself. My husband and I were extremely excited and I thought for sure that everything would work out with no hiccups. Unfortunately, at my first doctor's appointment to determine the estimated due date, fetal measurement and so on the doctor did not pick up a heartbeat on the ultrasound. Yes lovelies, at 9 weeks with no heartbeat and a fetus that measured around 7.5 weeks I was diagnosed with my first miscarriage...ever.

Oh believe me when I say it was devastating! I couldn't believe that this was happening to me. ME!! Yeah I know, no one is immune to anything in life, but you just never think some things would happen to you. It was a very difficult time for me emotionally, but it was also a time of spiritual growth and renewal. You see...though the baby-to-be only had a heartbeat for a short amount of time, I still experienced something extremely special. Life. Yes LIFE!!! Though I didn't get to see those beautiful rosy cheeks, tiny toes, and heart-warming smile, I still had the chance to experience something wonderful...someone wonderful who for a short while lived in me. I am truly blessed to be able to say that life comes in all shapes and forms. In my heart I have two children, knowing that my spiritual child is at peace with the Lord above.

So you see my friends, I have literally been through the 'Lost and Found'. I lost a job and gained a new one. I lost held a life and one day soon will hold a new one. I am looking forward to the day that I am pregnant again, but I found that there is life in new beginnings. With change comes growth and in growth comes awakening. I am open to discovering greater things in life and this journey through my life experiences makes me stronger, braver, and more confident in the person I am now, and the person I aim to be. What's that you ask? Nothing else, but Accidentally Me!!

xoxo, S.S. Milk